Titties 2009

I have worked my booty off this year, to get my pecs to pump out of my chest! You see I began this tour "flat as a pancake"! I weighed 150 pounds, and consistently stayed there! I now weigh 160 and have gained 10 pounds of muscle! I made a vow in one of my first posts on here "I saw what they are hiring"! To make my body, so much better! Me and a friend on the tour had a slogan "Titties 2009"! With that in my head, I am actually very happy with my pecs, shoulders, and arms! GOD only knows it has been a struggle for me. Some months of working out, were much better than others! Sometimes I was obsessed and would go to the gym all the time. There were also weeks, no maybe even months, when I ate cake, cookies, and said forget the gym! It is tough to maintain your body, and everyday I struggle at making it a lifestyle. Like today, I said I was going to the gym, but I'm sitting here blogging about it instead! LOL! The work has paid off, and I'm happy that I have gotten bigger! I can leave this tour with some pecs! YAY!

Now for the abs, and that takes even more discipline, cause that means I have to do more cardio, add more ab days, and eat right! UGH, it is never ending, but one day I will take a picture of my body and I will be so so so happy! I have a beautiful friend on the ACL tour, and she knows who she is! Who has a husband who has been working out for like only 6 months. She showed me a picture of his new abs. I just about passed out, AMAZING, wash board stunning, WOW and he is now my new motivation! My new slogan is "Abs 2010"! The never ending process, I guess will keep me healthy! I will keep you posted on the progress! WISH ME LUCK!!!!!

Living In The Now

To live in the now is so hard for me, and I'm learning to just take a breathe and do it! It is a constant struggle to not worry about the future! So much happens in life, be it family, friends, Brewster or just plan old me! A friend told me he is reading a book that helps you live in the now! Opps I don't remember the title of it, but listening to his conversation made me attempt to try this! I think it is a beautiful thing, to stop, take a breathe and say "Hey, are you fine right now"? "Are all your bills paid right now"? "Do you have a job right now"? "Is everything Ok right now"! WOW, did I ever relax, and realize how frivolous stressing about the future, can pay a toll on your life! This all seems so easy to do, but it is so hard for a person like me. I'm now glad I have this theory in my head, and believe me, over the past two weeks, I have used it a lot! Living in the now, whew, you should try it!

For Every Mountain!

Dear God

I want to start by giving you all of the honor, glory, and praise you deserve! For giving me strength each day, for helping me to have a "clean heart"! You are such an awesome GOD, and as I sit here with tears rolling down my face! I just want to say I Love You! I thank you for waking me up this morning, for letting me see the sunshine! For all the gifts and talents you have given me! For letting me use them in the right way! For giving me the strength to mentor to people! For every time I fall down, you are there to lift me back up! GOD I feel so unworthy of your love, no matter what I do, how I fall short sometimes,you don't care, you are always there for me! OH GOD thank you thank you thank you! Thank you GOD for giving me 34 years on this planet!!!! Thank you for this special day of birth, that I got to wake up, see it, and now enjoy it! Thank you for sending your son to die for my sins! GOD YOU ARE AN AWESOME GOD! For my health, for my sight, for everything you have blessed me with! I take nothing for granted my lord and saviour! Thanks again for my BIRTHDAY!!!!! WOW here's, to many more years together!

My Favorite Song For You God!


FOR WAKING ME UP THIS MORNING! FOR SENDING ME ON MY WAY! FOR LETTING ME SEE THE SUNSHINE OF A BRAND NEW DAY FOR JEHOVAH JIREH! YOU BEEN MY PROVIDER! SO MANY TIMES, YOU MET MY NEEDS. SO MANY TIMES YOU RESCUE ME! I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSINGS! YOU GIVE TO ME EACH DAY! THAT'S WHY I PRAISE YOU! FOR THIS I GIVE YOU PRAISE!
FOR EVERY MOUNTAIN! YOU BROUGHT ME OVER! FOR EVERY TRIAL YOU SEE ME THROUGH! FOR ALL THE BLESSINGS! HALLELUJAH! FOR THIS I GIVE YOU PRAISE! FOR THIS I GIVE YOU PRAISE!

AMEN

My Last Richie!

I didn't want to write earlier today, but now I'm going to write a short blog entry. LOL! My mood is gone, I guess, well for now! I think I needed to write the last blog entry to get to the place that I am at now!

Tonight I went on for the role of Richie, and I'm not sure, but I think it might have been my last time on for that role, seeing as we only have 2 1/2 weeks left! Tonight, I did the role, the way I wanted to do it, and I riffed a little more than usual! Then I was trying to hide from the musical director, and by my surprise he said "Well done, you better riff, sounded amazing"! It was fun, to be able to express myself my way! I got a little emotional in the Alternative "What I did For Love" scene, and I felt my energy realize that, this was probably it. Richie has a line, that hit home more than ever. Mike says "Nothing last for ever, a show is going to close someday" Richie says "Right, and then you have to start ALL OVER AGAIN, CAUSE THE ONLY "CHORUS LINE" YOU CAN DEPEND ON IN THIS BUSINESS, IS THE ONE AT UNEMPLOYMENT!

I Don't Want To Write

Lately, I have been starting to write blog entries, then my stomach turns, and I hate the entry! I delete the whole thing, and I'm back at square one. I'm in a funky period where I don't want to write. Therefore, I will keep this entry brief. I will be back soon, I need the writing spirit to move me! There are things I have on back hold to write about, from not having Internet last week! I will get to it all, I promise! Right now I'm listening to my inner self, and I'm not going to write! See ya soon blog world! However I will be reading all of the blogs that I follow!

Personal Day Drama

Wow, this is the weirdest thing in my professional career, and of course it happens in A Chorus Line! I'm blogging because, I have an uneasy energy inside of me. Please note, that I have bad Internet, in this hotel, but fought to find a place to write. Therefore this is very important in my eyes.

Yesterday, a cast member, comes up to me and says that someone in stage management, told him that if he asked me "to NOT take my personal day, so that he can have one". This is the first in my long career, that management was so unprofessional, and made me uncomfortable, by putting two cast members up against each other like that! WOW! I am appalled, and very upset, because what makes his personal day more important than mine? Is it because I'm just and understudy!? Why didn't management come to me, and not put another cast member in my face? So many questions, I can't even write how unprofessional this was!

Oh, this story isn't over, I was upstairs watching a movie in my dressing room, trying to relax. A stage manager comes into the room with his hands in his pocket. Puppy eyes, staring at me, and says "Two people want personal days, will you not take yours"! What????? Huh? But, I put my personal day in long ago, and first! Is someone in there families dying? NOPE, they want to go on an audition! WHAT? Where am I? What am I doing? Why do we have a union? Why do we have rules? Is this a non equity tour? Why again, is there audition more important than me and my day? If I had an audition would they ask someone to not take there personal day? I will answer this question...NO THEY WOULD NOT!!!!! Why do I feel under valued, and used? Why is this happening, when I have three weeks left?

OK OK you think I'm finished, but I'm not....... Then the stage manger says "I will put you on for Richie, and you can put the line back in, "And I Am Black"! Does this sound like a bribe?

Here is my answer! I am going on my personal day, and going to enjoy every second of it! I am going to do exactly all the things that I had planed, and spent my money to do! Do you like apples? Well, I do, and how about them apples!!!!!!

Rumors

What's the buzz, tell me what's a happening! What's the buzz.....zzzzzzzzzzzz! Rumors, Rumors, Rumors, now to put the rumors to rest! I have heard two rumors about me at the theater, from many people! Therefore, I'm going to come clean today, and tell the truth, nothing but the truth!

Did I write an email to my stage manager Ray Gin, and say" I ain't coming in"! ? Nothing more just that phrase, hmmmm, well, I don't quite remember, but I'm sure I said something like that! It was a short and sweet email, that I sent on a day I was calling out! You see, in Japan we got to email our call outs, and I think I did write that email. I'm sure , it also said, Love Always J.R. Whittington at the end! That rumor is true, Hey what else was a boy to say?

The second rumor I heard was that "I didn't want to go on for my covers anymore, and that I would call out, of every show, if I was put on from now until the end of the contract"! FALSE, if you know me, you know that I love money, and I want it all the time. I would never call out, of the show, for that reason! I think it all started when I was supposed to be on for Richie a couple of weeks ago, and I called out of the show! Most people thought, I wasn't really sick, and that I was calling out, cause I hate that role. True I don't like playing Richie, and it is not one of my favorites! I don't connect with him, at all, like I do my other covers. However, that is a challenge, that I love as an actor, to push yourself to become someone you are not! To find, that person deep in the depths of your soul! Yes I think his song is way too high, and male voices shouldn't be singing that high! Yes he does jump around the show, hookin, buckin, in a stereotypical African American way, that I hate. With all of that aside, I WOULD NOT CALL OUT FOR THAT REASON. I LOVE A CHALLENGE! I actually woke up that morning steamed, showered, did a vocal warm up, and the notes weren't coming out they way I wanted them to. I would prefer, to call out, if I can't give my performance 100%! Contrary to popular belief, I do love what I do, and I have lasted in this business, because I have a passion for my job! I may want to do another show, and be ready to go, but I don't comprise the gift that I have now! This isn't my FIFTH Big Production Equity Contract for no reason!

Well, I thought I would put the rumors to rest!