Who Am I Anyway?

I started my class for advanced film acting last night, and the first class was so exciting and thrilling! As someone who lucked out, in some very small roles, in film/soap/t.v., however I have never studied this medium. My teacher is awesome as he is teaching the class as an accomplish director, who has produced, directed, many films and t.v. shows. His knowledge, passion, and love for the film art form was more than displayed on the first day of class. I learned a ton already on the first day of class, and can't wait to grow more as a film actor in the next eight weeks. The class is cool, he said you will never have homework, or wheeling a trunk full of props and clothes around with you through the streets of New York. After doing this a million times, in my conservatory acting class at T.Schrieber. This news was the most awesome thing, a studying actor could receive. The class consists of getting film/T.V. copy from a produced movie or series, and he will "type" cast you with scenes that he thinks is appropriate for you. Then you leave the class with your scene partner, going in the hall or next door to the coffee shop, and finally coming back upstairs with the copy memorized. Then he blocks your scene, and films/directs you, as he films you in three different shots; the close up, the over the shoulder, and finally the full wide/straight lens shot. You will get to feel like you are on the set, in your trailer memorizing copy, and coming up to work, just like a film day is in real life. Then the horrifying part, you have to watch yourself, and be scrutinized. Which is hard for me, cause to me I look fat, I hate what I'm wearing, my skin looks bad, eeeww is that how I speak, LOL, well needless to say, I became very self critical. Which is awesome, because I can do nothing but grow, and figure out what works for me on film. The great thing he said I would learn is who I am as a film actor, and find out what "type" I am, and what is my niche in this crazy genre of acting. I have always been searching for my niche, what am I, who am I, what do I do best, how can I market myself, what do I bring to the table, what is my type? I am thrilled to find out what all this is at the end of this class!!

LEDISI

My blog friends, if you don't know the artist Ledisi, you truly need to know her asap! This women is a divine, passionate, performer with so much soul in her bones, and the voice of our generation! I am in love with her, and the fact that she sings real music. No pro-tools, just a mic, back up singers, and a band. Unfortunately that is rare in today's recording industry. Ledisi in my eyes equals talent, she is anointed with an extreme gift from GOD, that she is utilizing to her full potential. Last night, I went to see this electrifying vocalist, and performer at BB Kings in New York City. I was so entertained, watching this woman who gave me chills vocally. Not to mention performed from her head to her pinky toe! It was pleasing to see an artist who struggled because she was different, and stuck to her guns, and now has a Grammy nominated album! It saddens me that a ton of the main stream don't know this poweful voice, and the beauty of Ledisi. I encourage everyone to buy any of her albums, and be blessed by soul music at it's best. Then go and see her in concert, and be amazed by her performance, respect, passion, love, lust, and happiness for her art form!

The Most Fun On Broadway

Today I went to see a musical on Broadway, and was astonished by what I saw on stage tonight! I went to see the new Broadway musical Fela, and I want to see it again, and again, and again! This show was so amazing, and I felt like I was apart of there world, and was there in the piece with them. I danced, I stomped my feet, I sang, I laughed, I yelled, and most of all had a transforming theatrical experience. There is no musical out there, like this one, it was so clever, different, and fun! One of the major highlights of the show is the choreography, it was extraordinary! I have never seen dancers, dance with so much passion, heart, energy, and soul. I was mesmerized by every step, and amazed by there energy. I had a sense while watching the show that everyone enjoyed being up there on The Broadway Stage, which is rare in this day and age of "marking it" on Broadway! I was exposed to so much talent, and was happy to be in it's presence! I saw the actor Kevin Mambo play the role of Fela, and was so impressed by his performance. His acting was A+, and I'm so blessed to have experienced this evening! Go see FELA asap!

Beautiful People

I think all the beautiful folks hibernate, just like a bear would in the winter. It always amazes me, how beautiful the people are in New York City. When the sun comes up, they come out of those houses like roaches, swiftly, running through the streets of New York City. Roaches aren't beautiful, but I hope the analogy still worked. In the winter, everyone, is busted looking, and maybe you just can't see there beauty underneath the hats, and scarfs. I also think most people must run home after work, because it is so dang on cold! However, right now is a great time to people watch in the city, because the beauties are out and about! I love New York City, and I'm glad I moved back to the big bad apple. The beautiful people, is a major perk for the the city that never sleeps! I know what you are thinking? Random blog entry, lol, but this is what is on my mind! Now the next thing I wonder, is if all these beautiful people running the streets, do they have the same beauty on the inside? Hmmmmm??????

Who Do You Think You Are

There is a new t.v. show that I am becoming obsessed with on NBC. It is called "Who do you think you are", and it just touches at my heart every time I see it. It is a basic story, that follows celebrities as they find out about there ancestry, using genealogist, DNA, and public records. They travel all over the world to see where they come from. This simple story has kept me captivated, and has made me want to even dig further back in my roots. It is also emotionally amazing this show, to watch Lisa Kudrow go to Poland and see where her great grandmother, was picked up by the Nazis, and read the book where it says she was captured, tortured, and burned. Was not only an eye opener, but a heart breaking, powerful moment for Lisa. To watch Mariah, Emmitt Smiths, great great great grandmother, to see the African town she came from, and to go to where she was sold as a slave, and to see how white people paid more for cattle then a slave girl. Now there are some more positive, joyous, imagery, and things that happen on the show, but I will leave that part secret, just in case you decide to watch. These are just small examples of this beautiful show, so far only two episodes, so you haven't missed much. It is very interesting, a history lesson, and heart wrenching tale, that NBC has produced. Which the show has been done before in Europe, and is produced in the states by Lisa Kudrow! Watch it, and I'm sure your heart will be touched like mine!

Health Care

I'm very excited that our Health Care plan is finally about to pass. It took way to long to happen, but better late than never. I'm happy the rest of the democrats got on board, and saw that this plan is a step in the right direction. I'm sick of listening to the conservatives complain about money, and how much this will put "America" in more dept. When all things point to the fact that it may help this countries deficit. We will not know what will happen until we try. Is it a risk, for our country? My answer is yes, but it also will save millions of lives. To me that is more important than some silly money issue or dept. Thirty million people without insurance will be insured, and people with pre-existing problems, who lose there insurance, will still continued to be covered. This plan is on the road to saving so many people's lives. I'm sick of republicans and people who have insurance complaining, because they don't know what it is like, to have cancer, or a major illness, and not have insurance. THIS IS NOT A HAND OUT PEOPLE, GET OVER YOURSELVES! Lives are at stake, we are not playing a game here, and we don't have any more time to play with this. I for once am excited about the system, and praying that it works!

Another thing that appalled me was that on Friday, when democrats were walking in to discuss the change in there vote. The "tea bag party" spit on them, called people Nigger, and Faggot! What? Conservatives are making a fool out of themselves, and making matters worse. Even if you don't like the plan, to stoop this low, and be so blatantly racist, and sexist. This scares and embarrasses me that these people exist today in our country. I'm not blaming all conservatives, or all "Tea Bag Folks" LOL, but the "tea baggers" should be ashamed of themselves. So many better ways, to go about trying to win a fight, than to name call, and such harsh name calling at that. Yay to our brave president, and prayers to the success of this plan. This could be a start to an awesome change in health care in America!

Favorite Quote

"We are what we repeatedly do". "Excellence then is not an act, but a habit"! -Aristotle








Much Love

J.R.

You Can't Tell Me There Isn't A GOD!

I woke up today feeling a little lower than usual, just blah, thinking of the future. Instead of living in the now, as I have been trying so hard to do. When my phone rang, emails were returned, surprising emails received, and prayers answered. Just when you think it is going to be a blah day, GOD shows up, and tells you I'm here my child! You can just feel it, as I walked on the streets to the gym, to meet with my trainer, and tears welled up in my eyes. Have I booked something yet? NO! I'm still on unemployment, but things are moving in an amazing direction. I am exactly where I need to be, and getting set up for the future, and conquering some of my dreams. You can't tell me there isn't a GOD, because I believe, and I know that I wouldn't be in this place without him. THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!

American Idol

I missed all last season of American Idol, very jealous of friends, that got to see Adam and Chris fight it out to the finish. That is the only season of American Idol I have ever missed. You see I enjoy talent competitions, they make me smile. I love to watch people rise from nothing to stardom. It is a dream I have, and support, anything that makes peoples dreams come true! However, this season of American Idol sucks! I can't believe the people they have in the top 12, out of thousands that auditioned. I'm so disappointed, they came up with these folks, with the biggest pitch problems, in American Idol history. Well, I guess American Idol can't win them all. Will I continue to watch the show? ummm. yes I probably will, because I'm an idiot and hooked. Ellen is a fun, and an honest judge, and I'm enjoying her new take to the show. The energy between the judges are great this season. I don't miss Paula Abdul like most people, although, I did enjoy her "high booty", as a judge. I just wish they did better at casting the finalist this year. I will end this blog on a happy note, there are three contestants with talent and interest to me: Big Mike, Crystal, and Siobhan! Well, we shall see what happens????

I Must Be Crazy

I was speaking with my roommate asking her if I was insane in the brain? However, she just listened to my story, and walked out of the room laughing at me. Now I will bring the question to the blog world. I do something that is not the most Christian thing in the world. Wait, that sounds funny, I do many things that aren't so Christian, as I am sinner, just like everyone else. One second, this blog is going down the wrong path. Here is my story, sometimes when I have an audition or a performance, I ask the spirit of my ancestors to come and sit with me while I do my thing. I will pray to GOD, then talk to the dead people that I think are watching over me, and ask them to be with me through out my experience. Tell me am I crazy? I might even sometimes invite Sammy Davis, or Cab Calloway or some dead idol of mine, to come watch over this show, and ask that I be connected to some of what they were giving to the world. WOW I am crazy, however, it works for me, and I truly believe they are with me! The energy, and power of these moments, has always protected me, with auditions, and performances! Now I still pray to GOD, but sometimes I want my ancestors/idols with me in the room. My roommate says "I can continue to do this, but I shouldn't tell my pastor"!

Food Diary

My personal trainer wants me to keep a food diary, and I'm dreading it! The last time I did this I was in college, and my teacher told me if I continued eating the way I did, I would be dead by the time I was 30! I know most people are thinking, J.R. you are so in shape! However, in shape doesn't equal, eating well, most of it is genes, metabolism, and the fact that I dance/workout all the time. I will say that I do sort of eat well, (it depends on the period of life), so I probably shouldn't be so fearful. I know I definitely eat better than the college years. It is an interesting concept eating, because growing up in a poor African American family, I was never taught how to eat. We went to McDonald's, and ate what ever we can afford at the time. I didn't learn about health, nutrition, any of that stuff until a later date. I thought a pop tart for breakfast, and McDonald's for lunch, and then a slice of pizza for dinner, was OK! My finances were very happy after those cheap meals! Now that I'm older, I do have a diet, ex specially because I do care about my life. However, I do tend to fall off it, and it is more with chocolate then food! I know my love, obsession, and lust for chocolate is summed up in two words "stress eating"! Well, here I go with my food diary, it will be interesting to see what I learn about my eating habits this time around.

Check out my trainers blog on health, nutrition, and working out! He really is intense, and full of knowledge:
sjfitnessx.blogspot.com

That Odd Unexpected Moment

I was walking this morning to the train, not really looking that great, but just going about my business. Walking to the right of me was this beautiful human creature, with sharp blue eyes, dark hair, amazing lips, great style, and a beautiful body. I look out of the corner of my eyes, trying to not make a scene. My heart pounded out of my chest, and noticed I wasn't breathing at all. I waited like six seconds, and kept walking looking straight ahead, and turned around to do a final check out! Wouldn't you know it, that this beautiful person, turned at the same six seconds, and we both got busted checking each other out! This person stopped in the middle of the street, waiting for me to walk up, but I didn't have the guts. Just flattered and kept walking to my train, with the biggest grin ever. Have you ever had this moment?

The Evil Environmentalist!

Brewster and I were taking a walk in this beautiful weather, minding our own business, and out jumps a middle aged man with funny facial hair, big gut, and a hat! "YOU ARE KILLING THAT POOR TREE WITH YOUR DOGS URINE", "SHAME ON YOU", "SHAME ON YOU"! "I'm sorry sir, I didn't know that dog urine would kill this big old tree that has been here for many years" I said! "Of COURSE YOU DON'T KNOW, YOU ARE A TERRORIST, AND YOUR DOG IS EVIL" he said! "LEARN ABOUT YOUR SURROUNDINGS AND THE PRECIOUS THINGS AROUND YOU IDIOT" he kept screaming! OK now, my friends, you all know I'm willing to learn, and wouldn't have taken this lightly if the man was nice. However, he had a huge attitude and was yelling. Which caused me to go a little crazy, and curse the man out on the street. Yes I once again snapped, and made Brewster pee on every tree right in front of the man, while he was yelling! I think I ended the conversation by saying something like this "the next time I'm going to have my dog pee on you, maybe that will save the environment"!

The Scottsboro Boys

I went to see Kander and Ebbs last musical they ever wrote "The Scottsboro Boys", which was directed and choreographed by Susan Stroman! I was so touched, by this master piece on stage. First of all this is a true story, that is so tragic and important to African American History. The fact that I knew nothing about it, is just ridiculous. To see nine African American MALE triple threats on stage at once, was so overwhelming! The book was so strong for a musical, but how can you go wrong with a true story? The talent on that stage was unreal, and I was so impressed with Susan Stromans staging, and they way she took care of such an amazing African American story! The music was superb, who would have thought listening to Black folks sang "Cabaret", and "Chicago" style music in a "Mammy" type of way would be so exciting and brilliant! Hats off to the cast, and the extreme talent on that stage. I have to give a shout out to Brandon Victor Dixon, he was a star, and was beautiful in this piece! His acting and vocals were stellar, BRAVO BRANDON! I don't want to talk about the plot too much, because I want you to all come to New York and support this great work of art!

Acting Acting Acting

There is a feeling like no other, when you can hear a pin drop in the audience, when you can feel the energy from the audience serge into your body! When you are so connected, that you don't even know who you are, anymore! When you finish, and you have no idea how you did, because you gave yourself over to the character, and became someone else! My six week conservatory class is now over. Now I move onto a 8 week, film class that meets once a week in the evenings. A much more relaxed schedule, so I can audition, and have a life again! However, this post is about my six week conservatory class, at T. Schreiber Studios here in New York City!

I learned a ton about myself, my craft, my ego, my fears, my loves, techniques, friends, touch, and many other things. I will say that some of the course was a re-learning tool for me, because I have had so much experience, that some of it was basic one on one knowledge. I will give you my, opinion, on my experience by course description.

1. Body Dynamics; This course bored me to tears, because of many years of dance. Some actors, were discovering there body, and how different things felt to them. My body is numb, because I have been using it since I was eight! The teacher was older, and believed in a ton of eastern philosophies. Cause she was older, she had a problem with speaking to people like they are children. My biggest pet peeve is to be talked to like a child. That already put a damp mood on our relationship. She also was teaching things, that as a dancer, you have to warm up to, because it can cause major KNEE problems. I refused to do this to my body, and I think she despised me for that. I missed a couple of her classes, for the record, not because I hate her class, however, because of personal things I had to take care of. That didn't go well for her, this class, was a struggle for me. The positive, was the work we did with two little balls, was amazing, and was on the line of physical therapy. I also learned even more about myself, I HATE STRANGERS TO TOUCH ME! This is something I knew, but now I really know it! I have many trust issues with strangers, so therefore, only a hand full of classmates I would let touch me. I know I am weird!

2. Vocal Production: I actually liked this class, although, it can get boring listening to folks work on there speech. I came out with much better breathe support from this class. I also learned how much I hold my breathe throughout a day. I also learned again, how lazy my stupid tongue is, and I have to work harder in that area. Lastly, I came out of this class, with the full knowledge that I SUCK AT SHAKESPEARE! It makes no sense to me, and I just don't get it. Well, I guess this area is something I need to work on, because I do like to watch Shakespeare on stage, and would love to do some of his works.

3. The acting portion of my class, was my favorite portion of the conservatory. I might have seemed bored, if you saw me in the back of class, on my phone, or facebook. LOL However, I wasn't, and I was actually listening! I enjoyed watching my classmates, work, fail, grow, and make some miraculous choices. I enjoyed feeling like I can be in a safe environment, try new things, fall flat on my ass, and figure out how to get my big booty back up. I came out with a better understanding of the Meisner Technique, which was interesting, because all my life I was trained with the Strasberg style of acting. Which sometimes can seem so heady, and very method. I am now convinced on working moment to moment, and living in the now in the scene. I started out in the class resisting this technique, and now I don't want to leave it. However, I will continue with my Strasberg work, but I will definitely keep the Meisner thing with me!

The best part was the people I met, and the new friends, with so much talent, that I can't wait to see all of there futures. LOVE!