Tuesday, December 1, 2009
I Am Not Perfect And I Hate It!
I have a serious problem of wanting to be perfect at everything I do! This will definetely become a problem when I start my acting class at the end of January! UGH! Why am I such a perfectionist? Why do I work so hard at making it right? Why do I get frustrated when I can't get it the first time around? Yesterday in my voice lesson, when I couldn't sing, (OK I'm exagaratting) but I didn't sing my best! I got so upset with myself, and went home and practiced, practiced, practiced, practiced until my vocal chords was on the floor, and I could barely sing anymore. What???? They say practice makes perfect? Right? Then at the gym today, I couldn't get an excercise my traininer was teaching! I couldn't do it? My heart raced, my mind raced, and couldn 't grasp at the idea that it wasn't happening? I kept trying, and my trainer encouraged me by saying" in time, I will be able to do it and, that I just need to work on my core more". But I was not happy with it, and it ate at me the whole day! UGH! I hate this perfectionist side, wish me luck, and I hope I can breathe through it!
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I totally know how you feel. I think part of being an artist is having a really high ideal of the work that we produce--in every aspect. Because of this I am SUPER competitive (even in things that don't matter so much, like ping-pong, for goodness' sake!), but sometimes like you said, I just need to eat some humble pie and realize that I am not perfect at everything--not even most things--and somehow that is good for my soul to work on something that doesn't come easily...But I hear ya, I hear ya!!!
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