VIVA LAS VEGAS!

I get off the plane, and immediately I feel that heat of the outside hit me hard as a brick. I think to myself "Damn, it is hot as Hell"! We landed at 8;45 am and the pilot said "It is already 102 degrees". WOW, only in Vegas, and you would think it would cool down in the evening..NOPE, still 99 degrees at night! Anyway, I walk downstairs and get my luggage, and go get the car rental! I proceed to drive up Las Vegas Boulevard, and feelings all came a rushing back to me. Three years of my life I spent on this strip, in the beautiful Red Rock Canyon Mountains, and all over this city. I didn't notice how much I missed it until, I came back! Wow, I started to remember all the times with my "Mamma Mia" family! Everything swelled up inside of me. The adrenaline of it all, I became very excited. I didn't realize it until now, I love this town. You get the best of two words. The fast party life on the strip, and the quiet hiking mountain suburban life at home! Last night I went to the lounge in The Palms, to hear one of my favorite bands on the strip "Santa Fe"! They were amazing, the live horn section always gets me. Not to mention the 4 male singers. The most talented band ever. It is all so weird to me, all the talent in this town. Imagine, just walking through every lounge in the 100's of hotels. How much undiscovered talent is at your disposal, not including the Cirque Shows, Broadway Shows, Magic Shows, Musical Reviews, Comedy and I'm sure more. It was an awesome sweet night! Great music, friends and a glass of wine. Can't wait to unravel the rest of the week, and see what unfolds. This town has many fond memories for me, and I'm glad to be back in Viva Las Vegas!!!!!

HOME

It is silent, peaceful, empty, and dark! I walk in there and no lights are on, and stand right in the center. I look up, and see light fixtures hanging! Rows of chairs, going way to the back! I close my eyes, and breathe. I look up at all the seats, and the lights. The silence is peaceful, and warm. I feel a chill up my body. A tear slowly rolls down my face! I wipe it, and think "WOW, what is going on with me". It is like my body was being taken over by some spirit! I breathe some more, and take it all in. I realize, at that moment, that this is where I'm supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be anywhere else. I feel safe, excited, moved, and intense. HOME! I AM HOME! THE STAGE IS HOME!

A DREAM THAT WON'T COME TRUE

I'm 12 years old, on the side of the arena, but five rows from the stage. I have my hair, big and curly, gooey, from all the curl activator I put in it! I was wearing, black jeans, white socks that sparkled, a white sparkly glove, and a red jacket with zippers all over it. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the stands, waiting quietly and patient. Everyone screaming in anticipation around me. SMOKE and a big Bang! On stage right in front of my eyes are five Michael Jackson look a likes. Everyone is going crazy, and right through the middle, he jumps in with flair! He commands that stage like no one in the world will ever be able to do. He flicks his long hair back, jumps onto both of his toes, and spins. I feel a sensation in my chest, at young age, thinking I'm going to be just like him. He runs to the mic, and starts to sing, in this high pitched voice. Like a little girl I start to scream! Excitement racing in my belly. He walks over stage right, and glares right into my eyes. I see him, and he See's me (so I think), I lean over to my mom, "He is looking right at me"! It is the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, my third concert in my life, after New Edition and Teanna Maria being the first two. From that moment on, I was hooked, and he was my idol forever!

Michael Jackson's death was hard on me, and I think even harder than I thought! I used to think to myself, why are people so crazy over Elvis, Princess Diana, etc. They don't know them, personally. Now I get it, you don't have to know them, cause in some way the thing they have done to there lives, through artistry, and passion is something that you can never get back. Your thankful, you respect them, and they molded your childhood with dreams, inspiration, passion, and just plain entertainment. I hear a Michael Jackson song from each album, and it takes me to a different memory or place in my life. I love that music can do that for a person. To watch an entertainer like him, devour the stage, sweating, dancing, living, entertaining, and pouring his soul into his music. UGh, this genius will be missed. I can honestly say if we didn't have a Michael Jackson, there would be a 90% chance that I wouldn't be a performer today. That man, has inspired me, musically, vocally, and as a dancer. To lose my idol at such a young age, is tragedy, and a miserable day I will never forget!

This past month has been about death for me, so I think that also plays a part on how hard I'm taking everything! Now with my friends Matt, and Scott dead at such a young age. We have Michael Jackson, Farah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon! This is just too much for me!

I had a dream, growing up, I thought, and believed in my heart it would come true. I just knew I would meet Michael Jackson one day. I knew one day, he would come to a show I was in. Or I would meet him on the streets. Better yet, I would work with him! It saddens me that this dream will never come true. Until my next life in heaven! I just know, that last night there was a beautiful concert up in heaven, Farah was doing a monologue, while Ed introduced her in a funny way, and Michael just got up there and sang, while they all rejoiced and dance. Matt and Scott, got to be there too. With that thought in my head, everything is alright!

MICHAEL JACKSON, THE GREATEST ENTERTAINER EVER, AND MY AMERICAN IDOL! GONE TOO SOON!

CHARMA--OUCH MY BALLS--IS A BITCH!

OK OK, IF YOU READ MY BLOG, AND FOLLOW ME YOU WILL REMEMBER A ENTRY ABOUT BEING A LIAR! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, GO TO MY ARCHIVES, READ IT, THEN FINISH READING THIS ENTRY!

WELL, TODAY, WAS THE BIG MORNING TO "MANSCAPE", SO OUT COMES MY PEANUT! I'M CLEANING IT ALL, I'M GOING TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK, AND WANT TO LOOK GOOD IN MY SUIT AT MANDALAY BEACH! I NEEDED TO CLEAN UP SOME AREAS! HERE I GO, SLOWLY CLEANING UP AROUND MY PELVIS, AND INNER THIGH! OUCH OUCH FUCK! MY BALLS! (SORRY FOR THE BAD LANGUAGE) I TIPPED MY BALL SACK, WITH THE PEANUT! I KNOW, TO MUCH INFO! BLOOD EVERYWHERE, PAIN LIKE YOU NEVER WOULD KNOW. I NEVER HAVE DONE THIS BEFORE. OUCH AHHAAHGOAHAGHLOLSHOAHAHAHAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I BLAME IT ON CHARMA, IF I WAS HONEST AND NOT A LIAR! THIS WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED! UGH CHARMA IS A BITCH! SORRY FOR THE GRAPHICS, BUT I WANTED YOU TO FEEL MY PAIN.

News Alert!

There is so much on the news these days, and I have so many things to discuss! So I'm going to put all my feelings out on the table in this one blog.

I have to start by saying, I admire, and think OBAMA is doing an amazing job. Yesterday's news conference was awesome for me to see him put the reporters in there place. I started to chuckle out loud! He let them have it, and still kept his class and dignity. He has so so so much to clean up, and it isn't going to happen over night. People are crazy, if they think it is, we have to be patient with our new president. He has already done so many amazing things, and only time will tell, whether he continues on this road. I have faith, and believe in him!

On a lighter note, I love to see him so "IN LOVE", with Michelle, and finding time to do things together. It is rare that you see that a president is human. Many people criticizes him on this, but I LOVE IT! He is a man at the end of the day. And he is trying to run this country and have some time for family. BRAVO!


My second thing in the news is Lisa Ling's sister over there in Korea sentenced to 12 years in a Labor Camp. Get Into it, Korea is A Threat and Are No JOKE! I don't know what is wrong with them, and what they have against the rest of the world! We had better keep an eye on them. My heart goes out to Laura Ling, and her family! She was over there doing a story, and accidentally set one foot into the wrong soil. She has apologized, and was just giving you what we take for granted--freedom of speech--Now she is in a labor camp. Where they barely get feed, they are locked down like animals, and forced to do hard work all day and night. Not to mention, she is in Korea, where they are practicing with Nuclear Bombs. I'm scared for this country, and I'm scared for her. It has been three months so far, and we (The US) are still trying to get her out of there. OK Hilary Clinton, Barack gave you a job, let's so you work your womenly magic on Korea! I'm so sad, and set aside a prayer for her, and that country everyday! It is not just Laura Ling who got sentenced, another reporter did as well, I don't want to leave her out! I just don't recall the name. PRAYERS TO ALL!

Thirdly, in the POP CULTURE WORLD, Chris Brown, doesn't get jail time. This hurts me more than people know. He got 5 years probation, 170 Hours of Community Service, and must stay 50 feet away from Rhianna! Any man that hits a women, should get what they are deserved. Hit back, they needed to lock him up, if even for 3 months. He was smiling and crying tears of joy at the end of his trial. Is this OK???? Domestic Violence, is no joke, and he will do it again. I have a personal experience with it, watching my step father beat on my mother. It is tough, and is hard, and close to home for me. Domestic Violence is a platform of mine, that I have seen, up close and in my face. I know two wrongs don't make a right, but I would love to have seen that pretty boy behind bars, and get knocked up a little, by someone his own size!!!!! I pray the councilor he has been assigned to can straight him out. DON"T BUY HIS ALBUMS! Although, I don't think that will work, cause he will probably ironically become a bigger star! UGH!


Lastly, IRAN, I just pray that they can find peace. I will never understand a country that resorts to so much violence. I understand protest, but so many deaths. I can't understand there culture, and how they are raised???? I try so hard not to judge, so all I can do is pray for a resolve, and peace in that country!

RIP MY FRIENDS

I know, I keep so many things bottled up inside, and sometimes I need to release them. No one probably even knows what I'm truly thinking when I'm in a "Mood Swing", they probably think I'm just crazy! Life happens, which triggers something inside me, that makes me quiet. Sometimes being silent, scares people, and they don't know what to do around you. I just need space and air, usually there is something wrong. I have never been the type to express it right away. I'm going to write briefly about what I have been going through, because I feel the need to let it out!

About a month ago, my friend, and fellow actor Mathew Thibedeau passed away to a better place. He was only 35, years old, and has been sick for 3 years. He was fighting the fight, and staying so positive on facebook, with his funny comments on my page. He was an awesome and amazing guy. I went to Boston Conservatory with him, and also did Jesus Christ Superstar at TUTS with Matt. He had an amazing energy, and was always inspiring about your art, and career path. Not a selfish bone in his body. Matt was a ford model, did soaps, and sunset boulevard! Anyway, I took this very hard, and it took me awhile to get out of my funk! So young, so talented, and so so so amazing. Matt my friend RIP, I love you, and know you are in a better place.

Last night I was on for the role of Larry in "A Chorus Line", and I decided to check my email. In my email, it said another friend I knew past on to be with the lord. I panicked, "Oh No this can't be happening again". My friend T. Scott Cunningham, who I did "Mamma Mia" , with in Vegas, had passed away. Man, I haven't seen Scott since Mamma Mia. I had no idea he was even ill. He was a funny--funny guy. Who every one loved around the theater. He had an extraordinary resume, many, many, Broadway Plays. Tons of T.V. and film. He had blessed my life with his pressence, energy, and spirit! RIP Scott!!!!!

Life is short, is a cliche, nevertheless, it is a cliche for a reason! RIP my friends!!!!!!

I HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS

When I became a blogger, the first blog actually I ever wrote, was how upset I was about Ashanti playing Dorothy in "The Wiz". I have more than one friend, that has saw the show, and said "Ashanti was amazing"! Some even said "Her performance made me cry"! I HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS.... However, I haven't seen the show because I'm on tour! I'm going to trust, my friends, that have seen it! I humbly eat my words, and say thank goodness, she proved me wrong. That is a show, that I will always love, because it was the second musical I have ever done in my life (at 13)! The first musical I had ever seen on T.V. I wish I was in New York City to give you a proper review, and my true opinion. If they move it to Broadway, I will be the first to see it. As of now, I'm a loser, and sorry Ashanti, for calling you untalented.

I'M MORE COMPETITIVE AND INSECURE THAN I THOUGHT!

I never pride myself on being a competitive male, in this business. My motto was there is a gig for everyone, and I will get the gig I'm supposed to have. I guess, this was a sign of someone who is secure in his talent, and works all the time. I have been blessed to continuously work, as an actor. Yesterday, my favorite deadly sin, that I have wrote about before, came up, very unexpectedly ENVY!

A dear friend who I love got his BWay Debut last night. He will be an understudy "In The Heights". I think he is so talented, and a nice young man. If you asked me to say this yesterday, when I found out, it wouldn't have happened. It has been years, since I felt like this. I was a bitch, and not happy for him. I felt this competitive energy in me. This envious, thing growing in my stomach. Who am I to be envious, I have had the most amazing career ever! I have been on Broadway, Soaps, and Movies. Why did I feel this way? Why was I hating like a girl, sorry girls, you are usually haters. LOL... I didn't recognize myself and this emotion. Why now, when I'm Blank Blank years old??? Hmmm, very interesting...

I had to shut up, get quiet, and go to the person I knew would bring me home. GOD, I prayed, in a silent place, and all the answer came flooding toward me. Be happy for your friend, who is young, talented, nice, and deserving. All those feelings rushed out of me, and I became a new person, when I just talked to GOD! I love that I am man enough to admit my insecurities, and to feel things, cause I'm human. I realized why, it hit me so hard. I haven't told many people this, but I have had many call backs for In The Heights, but for a totally different track. I think the frustration of going in so many times, and not getting the gig, rushed into my head! Whew, so I'm back to J.R., and the green monster (ENVY) is gone. Thank GOD cause I didn't like that feeling at all. I am a human being, and I just grew as a person. When I thought at my age, I had experienced it all!

Furry Loving!!!

I miss my furry loving! Oh, how it is so nice, to be loved, whether, you have a bad/good/silly/moody day! To come home to your hotel room, and get your face licked, no matter what! To go on nice long walks together, through beautiful green parks across this country. To hold him in my arms, and dance to Al Green in the living room. To play ball, hide and seek, Frisbee, and many other games. To lay on my bed, and feel his warm heart beat on my shoulder or neck (Cause that is were he loves to lay)! Oh I am missing my furry loving. He is home with my mom, while we do these one weeks on tour. I MISS HIM, I MISS HIM, I MISS HIM. On, July 17, I will see him again, and get my FURRY LOVIN!!!!!! BREWSTER IS HIS NAME, MY BEST FRIEND, COMPANION, AND MY DOGGY!

I AM A LIAR!

I'm usually the most direct person, people know. My friends always say they respect me, because I tell it like it is. They usually love that about me. I try so hard not to be a liar. Low and behold, Mr. Blunt, is stuck in a hole, and trying to paddle his way out! Are you curious? Well, here is the story:

One day a cast member, comes up to me, and says "J.R. do you have an electric razor". I reply "yes I do, I have a peanut"! The cast members, laughs at me. It is really called a peanut, it is shaped like one and everything. I use this for my "MANSCAPING", He said "May I use it", and I said "YES"! Then a day went by tick tock tick tock.... I woke up, and went to put my "peanut" in my bag, and thought about it. EEEEEEWWW Gross, he can't use my "peanut", to shave his body hair. NASTY, NO WAY, NO WAY!

I go into work and he asked if I brought it. I said "No I forgot". Next day "Opps I forgot again"! The third day, "I'm such a dork, I can't believe I keep forgetting it." Liar Liar pants on fire. The hole is getting deeper and deeper, and everyday, I have to find a way to climb out of it. I couldn't be honest, I just wanted to say that is gross dude, HELL NO! Well, the next day, early in the morning text, beep beep= Hey can you remember your peanut? Text back beep beep "I'm not home, I had an early morning, and Oh there is a CVS next door to the theater, you should just buy one, it is so cheap"! I don't know, I think that worked, but today is the day off, so I don't know??. I guess I will find out tomorrow.

OK OK OK, even blunt, and usually honest J.R. is a big fat LIAR!!!!!!

What is your ethnic background?

The most common question I receive, when I'm out or people meet me for the first time. What are you? I say human, and laugh, and I don't think they find it too funny. I know, it is a curious thing, when you see someone with my look. I actually, hate that question, because it is over heard in my life. Nevertheless, I answer it, and now I'm starting to change my answer. I'm going to start just saying I'm African American. That is what I am mostly, my mom's mother= American Indian, Irish, and Black! My mom's dad= Black! My dad's mom=Black, and my dad's father= Puerto Rican! If you add that all together, it = Black! That is how I was raised and identify with. Therefore, that is who, and what I am.

Funny thing is when I go on for the role of Richie in A Chorus Line, they cut the line "And I'm Black", from me. Cause they say I don't read it from stage. In my eyes, that is rascist, who cares what I read, that is who I am. I can say I'm Puerto Rican, when, I'm on for Paul, but, I'm only a quarter Puerto Rican in real life. Yet, when a Caucasian goes on for Paul, they still say they are Puerto Rican, when they aint at all. Or better yet, when they cast an Asian American on Broadway in the role of Paul, he can say he is Puerto Rican. UGH, frustrated!!!!

Race has always been such a touchy subject for me. I would just say I'm Puerto Rican, so people will leave me alone. As I get older, I want to be known for who I am. An African American male, who is just fair skinned. And mixed, just like most people in America! I'm so proud of my culture, and love where I come from. SO HERE IT IS, J.R. Whittington The African American Male, whether people, like it or not!!!!!!

FEELING THE PRESSURE

For the past few days, I sat at my computer reading other peoples blogs! Thinking to myself "J.R. it has been a couple of days since you wrote something new"! Hmmmm? Cricket Cricket....silence...NOTHING! I joined this site to write, because I need a new outlet to express myself. Now I'm feeling the pressure, well, the pressure to blog! Therefore, I'm writing about not having a damn thing to say! THAT'S ALL YOU GET! SORRY!

My 20 RECAP of the Tony Awards

I know I think I was a critic in another life, but this was my view of the Tony Awards 09! Mind you I watched with one of the deadly sin above my head. ENVY! GREEN WITH ENVY!!! Attleast I can admit it. So with that said this is what I thought.

!. The Opening Number Sucked!!!! We are going to see those shows perform already, and wanted something exciting, fresh, new for the opening!

2. Liza with a Z, was hideous! But I have seen her show, and it is captivating an amazing! So I forgive her. She is old school, and electrifies that stage.

3. The sound was Hideous!

4. Brett Michaels almost got killed with the set. I laughed so loud and hard, and then felt, so guilty. I hope he is OK!!???!!!

5. Stockard Channing, was amazing in Grease, But made me want to look away from her and love...Cause she sounded hideous.

6. Shrek, was fun! I can't believe he did that number on his knees. It was so what I expected and more. Cheesy but brilliant!

7. A acquaintance of mine, from working my "normal job" in NYC, won her TONY, Karen Olivio! Which was amazing to see, that dreams can come true. I cried thru her whole speech.,

8. I wanted to see every play presented on Broadway, Play not musical, they all looked really good!

9. That little Billy Elliott better have an amazing pay check, cause he was dancing and working his face off.

10. Rock of Ages Rocked my world! I loved every minute of it. Don't care what any one says, but Constatine sang his face off.

11. West Side story was West Side Story!

12. The road shows performing on the Tony's bored me!!! Who cares???? Sorry, and I'm on a tour. Shameless plugging is always weird for me.

13. Next TO Normal, Looks AMAZING!

14. Why was Alice Ripley screaming at us, when she won?

15. I love that Angela Landsbury is now tied for the most Tony awards won...CONGRATS YOU LEGEND!

16. GOD OF CARNAGE CAST LOOKS AWESOME!!! IT IS CLOSED FOR THE SUMMER WHEN I'M IN NYC..RE OPENING IN THE FALL!!!! UGH!! I WANNA SEE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

17. I hated "Hair", they just jumped around alot,(cause that's what you do when your high, NOT) and stood on chairs in peoples faces...hmmm? I need to see that show, cause the Tony's didn't sell me. Nothing about the vocals was interesting to me. The staging sucked, so curious....hmm?

18. Can't wait to see Billy Elliott. P.S. I love that the man, made his wife join him on stage..AWESOME!

19. Wow, the Broadway Inspirational voices sounded amazing, singing what I did for love... Wow, we lost some talent this year. RIP!

20. The best part of the TONY'S for me was Neil Patrick Harris' closing SONG!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!




I hope I didn't offend any friends, but again it is just an OPINION!

Watching From The Wings

There I sit on the side of the stage left. Behind the big black curtain. Trying not to distract my fellow cast mates on stage. In stillness, watching from the wing! Inspired, by the talent on the stage. Sometimes I forget how gifted the people are I work with, being around them like family for a year. Tonight, to sit back, and watch, and see those legs kick there faces. There backs bend lower, than ever! There connection to these amazing characters. Looking into there eyes, and past there soul, as they speak, and touch the audience. There voices lifted and belting to the back of the house, and even out onto the streets. Talent pouring out of there pours. Oh man, it is an awesome sight to see. I'm in there presence, and get to work with some gifted folks. That is a gift I will treasure, and will take with me forever! Sometimes, I search high and low, for inspiration, and it is right there in front of me 8 shows a week. Being a part of a project, and a show so awesome, is easy to take for granted. When I get over it, and don't want to work. When I'm not inspired anymore, and I'm feeling low. My new found secret is to watch, and wait in the wing, it will bring me back to where I'm supposed to be.

OCD

I have OCD, but I don't think it is terrible! Does that mean I'm crazy? Do I need drugs or a pill? I like having OCD, a little, it keeps me responsible, and tidy!!!!!

I make sure the towels are straight in the bathroom.

I turn around everything in the fridge to make sure, the label is pointing towards me.

I might walk half way out of the hotel, and on to the street, to walk back up the elevator/stairs to make sure my stove or iron is turned off.

I check my pockets alot to figure out if my wallet is still in tact.

I might see something I love on you tube, watch it a bunch of times. Come back from the gym re watch it again. Post it to my facebook. Send it to a couple of friends. Do the show, come home and watch it a couple more times. Wake up the next morning and watch it again.

I love Beyonce's song "Scared of Lonely", and I will listen to it over and over again, if it comes on my gym mix of my ipod. (What??? it is my theme song this year LOL).

If I get a text or an email on my phone, I have to make sure they are deleted after I read them. I hate a messy inbox. I delete everything even from my facebook. No Old Mail For Me.

I'm becoming obsessed with blogging!

OCD, OCD, I don't think it is that bad?

THE SHACK

I have just been touched in so many ways, by an amazing book! I love when books can make you feel, and you get lost into there world. This book did more than make me feel, it has renewed me, and has changed my life. I know, that is a big statement. A friend of mine, by the name of Tiffany Cooper, gave it to me, when she came to see the show in D.C. I took the book and said, "yeah yeah yeah, I will read it at some point on this tour". There was a time recently when I started to question the story of Jesus? Not GOD, but Jesus, whether, I believed it was a true story, or just a story in the bible. I always pray and have faith in GOD! This book brought me back home to where I belong. Not only do I believe in the story of Jesus, I'm much closer to him, after reading this book. I don't wanna scare you non Christians away from this book. YOU JUST HAVE TO READ IT!!!!! You don't have to be a christian to read, you can be Muslim, Jewish, non believer, anything, to enjoy this book. This book is in no way preachy, and at the end of the day a fictional story. I'm just stating what it did for me!!!!! RUN TO READ THIS BOOK! It is so beautiful, well written, and I'm thankful I have read it. It couldn't have come to me at a better time in my life. I'm glad I didn't read it in DC, and I read it now, when I was questioning things! WOW, this book is beautiful. If you are going through any type of tragedy, or something in your life, run to this book. It is a stunning, page turner! If you just want a good book to read, run to it! The Shack!!!!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!! Amazing!!!!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!


THE SHACK
Author:WM. Paul Young
www.theshackbook.com

The Young African American Prostitute

I went for a walk around the hotel late last night, because I was feeling like I needed some fresh air. As I was walking, I saw this young dude standing on the corner. Good looking young man, around 16 or 17! In shape, nicely dressed, and just standing on the corner. He turned to me and said

"Hey, what are you looking to get into tonight"?

I said "Excuse me"

He said " Hey man, I'm just trying to make some money"!

And my crazy butt, intrigued, decided to have a conversation with the young man. Asking questions like how long have you been doing this? Why are you out here on the streets? How much money do you make? etc. WOW, I have learned so much in one evening. I think he got bored with my 20 questions and he left!!!! But left in a nice manner, he said "it was really nice to meet you", and shook my hand. Then just walked to the next block!

I wanted to proposition the young kid, and say If I give you a hundred bucks would you get off these streets. But I knew that wouldn't work. He would take my money, go home, and I would see him on the same corner tomorrow night. I wanted to scream and yell at him like a concerned parent, but that would have been a disater as well. I stood there, like a dork, trying to give him options..I think my dumb booty even mentioned McDonalds!

When he left, I stood on the corner (Probably looking like a prostitute my self) just pondering this in my head. Then I finally left the corner, walking the streets sad, and scared for him. So young, and capable of so many things. Not strung out or even drunk. Just a nice looking kid. That could be an actor (like me), a model, a doctor, a teacher, the world he could have in his hands. He choose a different road, and it saddens me!!! I'm sure he is doing what he thinks he has to do, just to survive the streets. He said to me "It's better than being a thief or selling drugs"! That was his mentality, and he was so intelligent! I can't imagine how many more kids are out there just like him.......WOW!!!!!

FEAR

I'm scared that one day I will crash into everyone "On The Line", and mess up the whole show!
I have a fear that I will crack really loud on stage in the middle of singing a solo.
I have a fear that I will have a panic attack on stage, and no one will know what to do.
I have a fear that the audience will hate me!

I'm scared of dying alone, a lonely old man, with no companion, to live this beautiful life with.
I have a fear of having too high of standards, and never meeting someone special.
I have a fear that after being with someone for 5 years or more, that I won't be sexually attracted anymore.
I have a fear that I'm so strong, that I will screw everything love has to offer up!

I'm scared of sex in the year 2009!
I have a fear of waking up itchy and scratchy...LOL
I have a fear of getting some big disease! I don't wanna go out like that!
I have a fear that I'm blocking out something in my child hood that makes me have so many sexual fears.

I'm scared that the tour will end and I will never work again.
I have a fear that GOD has given me so much, and that maybe I have reached my peak!
I have a fear that all my dreams won't come true!
I have a fear that people will figure out that I'm not as talented as they think!

I'm scared of spending my money!
I have a fear of struggling in New York City like when I first began my career.
I have a fear that this economy will never get better.
I have a fear of going through the "Great Depression"!!!!

I'm scared that Korea will be crazy and bomb us all.
I fear that with this crazy weather, that we are living in our last days!
I fear that our first African American president, will be our last.
I fear that we will get another Bush in office!

I'm scared of walking through African American neighborhoods alone.
I'm fearful that I will get jumped again, as I did as a teenager.
I have fear,that I will not be accepted by my own people, cause I dress, and look a little different.
I fear that I will wear the wrong color, and get shot!

Then I realize:


GOD HAS NOT GIVEN US A SPIRIT OF FEAR! HE HAS GIVEN UNTO US, A SPIRIT OF POWER, A SPIRIT OF LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND!